We like to think of ourselves as highly rational beings, but we’re usually not. We make impulsive decisions every day based on how we feel. We’ve all said and done things in the heat of the moment that we later regretted.
Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t make it a reality. For example, we might feel that we’re a failure or that we’re unloved or that we’re stupid, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.
When we’re in an emotionally distressed state, sometimes it’s not helpful to be alone with our thoughts. This is because it’s too easy to allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or to become overwhelmed by fear or hatred.
We are wired to feel how we repeatedly think. Thinking positive thoughts will make it easier for you to speak and behave positively. In order to get into the habit of being kind, you must practice the thoughts as well as the actions. However small the action, make it a habit of noticing the kindness as it is happening and make a mental note of how happy it makes you feel.
Take responsibility for assessing your own feelings before presenting them. Whereas anger and frustration are legitimate emotions, further exploration might reveal that in fact you feel annoyed or sad about a situation. Perhaps upon reflection you find that in fact you felt abandoned. Being able to accurately pinpoint your feelings will help you to convey them in a kinder, gentler tone.
So the second thing that must be learned is to practice going through life in a more detached way, as more of an observer. In my writings I can show you how and why this dispassionate state of mind and calm state way of living is based on principles of forgiveness and patience.
... but we are unwilling to give it up. However, many people can't understand where it coming from. Or they see their resentment and impatience and don't want to be that way, but don't know how to make the change.
Ruminating on mistakes made in the past often creates feelings of shame, guilt and negativity. Feelings of worthlessness may arise when you play over and over in your mind, ‘bad’ choices or ‘wrong’ actions you feel you have made.
A CEO at Deskari